The Kamenashi Effect taught to beginners
Jun. 21st, 2011 05:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iside89I promised this post time ago when I started to use the word "Kamenashi Effect" in my entries. Read it carefully because I hid many gifs/pics as links all throughout the post. :Dv
**NOTE: it's a post made for fun to make fun of Kametards written by aKametard Kamefan, so yeah, it's ironic**
I was partially inspired by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scorch66 's Kame love posts and simourva 's picspam, so go and read them :D
Finally, after months of researches, notes and observation of KAT-TUN fans and Kamestans, I wrote my "essay" about the amazing, bewireling, shocking...
1- Shopping and Shopaholicism
This is the first symptom you generally notice. You begin to go shopping even if you were that kind of girl that barely buys new clothes every now and then, just because the old ones are too small. And even worse, now you enjoy going shopping.
You still may blame Kame for his shopaholicism and spending habits, but before you realize it, you become a shopaholic too.
The terminal status, you don't even feel guilty going and enjoying shopping or spending too much money on a skirt.
1.2- Expensive taste in shopping
If you have 3 t-shirts in front of you, the one that will catch your attention will 90% surely be the most expensive. You can't help it. Simply, you will.
2- Fashionista knowledge
You know so many stylist after checking what Kame was wearing in the last perf, PV or photoshoot that you could write a monthly column in the most fashionable magazine in the world. "Devil wears Prada" is nothing compared to you.
3- Weird taste in clothing
You become obsessed with accessories and, most of all, you end up buying weird clothes. You basically changed your wardrobe after you got to know Kame. Try to think about it. You probably have jackets with fur now, or damaged jeans, or lots of shoes/boots, so many that your mom starts wondering if you have more legs than normal human beings. I really hope you don't have feathery boas and sparkling trousers in your wardrobe, or jackets with lips, but I can't exlude it completely. Surely you have lots of Jeans - he's the best jeanist and even if you liked them before, now you almost wear only jeans.
The accessorize section may contain:
-sunglasses. Many.
-fedoras.
-Scarfs and foulards.
-Bracelets. Uncontable.
-Necklaces - you wear 3-4 of them at same time.
-Rings.
-Bags - the most similar to his you could find.
It may happen that you see/buy something because you think "Kame would approve this material/color".
3.2- Weird taste in clothing part 2
This point has a subpoint too. Maybe you don't buy it (because for example it's a man shirt and let's be honest, even if you like it, if you don't have a boyfriend or a dad as weird as you that accepts to wear something like this, you won't buy it)... but you think "oh, this woul suit Kame SO MUCH".
(this because I was talking about feathery boas and sparlking pants.
I don't think your bf would wear them.)
4- Appearance obsessed
You start paying attention to your make-up. Then, you notice every time one of them (it may be Kame, but not only him) wears make-up, eventually copying it (their make-up artists are always make-up artists, FTW!). Especially eyebrows are your new fixed point you never miss to check - because Kame's bitchy brows are bitchy, hella yeah.
Perfumes, facial patches, etc: everything is suddenly so important to you.
4.1 Shows are your mirrors around the city
Yes, I've seen people doing this as consequence of the parts already said.
5- Catwalk
Yes. Because Kame's catwalk is better than yours, and you KNOW it. But since you see his catwalk every day, rewatching his performances, CMs, dramas, you absorb his technique and you end up catwalking in your everyday life unconsciously.
At least Kame helps your woman pride, not just destroy it, once in a while.
6- Tongue habit
As before, you keep watching him playing with his lips/tongue/teeth/whatever, and unconsciously take that habit.
If you already had this habit (as I did), well, it will worsen. Very much. Trust me.
Your tongue takes control and when you are nervous you start playing unconsciously with it and your lips. As the master, more or less unconciously teaches.
7- Lamenashi is all around you
As if Junno wasn't enough, as if you needed someone who can say puns even lamer than Junno's, well, you have Lamenashi Kazuya for you. Because, quotingsimourva , "he's where even lame becomes lamer". The funny fact is that he can be lame and still look cute.
Too bad that your lame puns won't make your friends crack up nor make them say "ZOMG you are so cute!1!!1!1!". They will facepalm and try not to look too much impolite with you (if they are kind enough. Otherwise, they will make fool of you for the rest of the day).
Basically, you become a weird hybrid between Lamenashi and Taguchi. Basically, A LameGuchi. Terrible.
And so to unite point 6&7, "Kame's lameness is like his tongue - always there and impossible to ignore. "
8- Turtles=Kame
Too much obvious, but this is the truth. Every time you see a turtle, someone talks about turtles, wears a t-shirt with a turtle, looks like a turtle, eats turtles, plays with turtles, your mind goes to him. Don't deny it, you know it's true.
8.1- Turtles are needed in your room
You have at least a turtle-shaped thinghy at home. And if you have not, you are thinking to buy it.
Kamearmy. Just because.
9- (His, not yours) undeniable charm captivates everyone
Everyone in your family knows Kame. They may don't know who KT are, but they KNOW there's this guy called Kame somewhere among them. They eventually may be able to recognize him. Especially your mom is his fan or prefers him among KT or at least can recognize him.
It may happen that even male figures around you (brothers or friends) are captivated by him, his skin or his flawless back, as someone in my f-list told me about his male friend XD
10- You can't count your fetishes anymore
Maybe at the beginning, before getting to know him, you only had a soft spot for neckties.
But then, after knowing him, shirts (yes shirts) appeared. Wet - or potentially wet - shirts, why not. Even office!shirts.
Then suits. More suits. Even MORE suits.
Then glasses - because he's hot and looks like Johnny Depp in QoP live with the perm. (well not exactly this pic, but if you watch the con, you get what I mean)
Why not, tanktops.
Not to think about body parts - ass, arms, back, tummy, neck, jugular, eyes, jaw, hair, legs, fingers... and all their fatty variations, of course. Because you didn't think that fatty!Kame could make you change your mind about fat being extremely hot and sexy, right?
Because Kame is your walking fetish.
10.1- Crook noses are sexy for you
(Glasses+nose, wasn't I smart choosing this pic? XD)
10.2- Your fetishes may be disturbing and weird
Of course, the FAMOUS Kame's nipples - or raisins - that everyone in JE fandom, even non-KT fans, knows.
Not to talk about the forest - You know who I'm referring to. XDDD Hairy Kame had a campaing already back in 2007.
11- Baseball is your favourite sport
Read here.
You almost didn't know about this sport until he began Going. Or maybe you didn't even care about sports at all.
Now you know all the rules, you can even discuss about which kind of pitch should be used against which kind of batter - because yes, you even know that there are different pitches.
You know almost all the Japanese baseball teams and you can even tell apart many players, say where they play and in which role. You ship TsuyoKame.
Not to say that you even know the result of the last Giant's match (thanks to Dramatic game).
12- You are interested in reptiles
Because, after the turtle, you discovered that boas (yes boas) may be interesting animals (together with condas. And bouncing ferrets, even if this isn't a reptile, but KT loves all animals and we also do).
You also are interested in how boas moves and is... grabbed?
13- You are interested in cooking
Maybe you can't even warm milk decently, but recently you feel the urge to learn how to cook.
---> 
(the pics are bigger)
13.2- Hadaka apron is one of the fetishes you secretly have
Don't deny it. Naked apron this way comes!
13.3- Wines don't have mysteries for you
Because you watched Kami no Shizuku and hell yes, you learned what a decantage is and you can distinguish 2 French wines even if you don't drink alcohol.
14- You somehow became cuter
Because, as points1-2-3-4-5 were absorbed unconsciously, cuteness may sometimes become unconscious too. Together with cute dorkiness. Sometimes he's just plain beautiful and shining.
15- Skulls are strangely fascinating nowadays
Yes, skulls.
16- You don't have a clear music preference anymore
After this Real Face and this ballad, you don't know anymore if you prefer rock or ballads. 99% of the cases, both of them.
16.2- Sappy songs aren't so bad at the end
Who didn't fall in love with him after reading "Aishiteiru kara" lyrics or simply watching his heartfelt perfs? (I cried like a baby after that SC perfs, but well)
17- You are an emoji freak
Because after reading his manuals, you started to use more emojis than words too. XD ^_^ ^o^ He's the king of emojis.
18- You are a hopeless perv
Or maybe you were a perv even before (especially because KAT-TUN fans, in primis Kamefans, seem to be genetically pervs). But obviously, being fan of a man that calls his dogs Ran & Jelly (=Ranjerii->Lingerie), that likes to slut himself on stage like it's a normal thing to do, that molests juniors, that hipsroll like a god, and has CMs where he's half naked, doesn't help. (<-- Don't be ashamed, I know you were hoping the shoot was lower *pats*)
19- You surpassed the "Yaoi" line. You ship Kame/everyone&everything
Because yes: he can be paired up with everyone, and yes, Kame/Kame exist and it's fucking hot. Kame/inanimate objects may be relevant to your interests too - especially poles, just sayin'.
20- Convulsive laughs are sexy (and you start laughing this way too)
No one can resist his laugh. or simply weird kameface.
21- You are clingy
Because he is passionate and teasing and clingy with lonely hands so yes, you are too. Or you became like this. It's the same, basically you are like this because it's the Kamenashi Effect and I'm explaining you it, to show you the Light.
22- You give yourself in everything you do
After 21+some underpoints stupid reasons, the last one is serious - and we all know that, after all, this is so much true. And putting aside the jokes, this is the most important point.
Sometimes you may be tired for your schedule, but then somewhere in your mind, even if you think it's stupid, there is a brain cell that's mumbling "Kame's schedule is way more hectic than yours, so don't give up now".
When you suffer for a friend's betrayal, you remember that 2006 period that he had to experiment and you think "He managed to continue working with people that hated him. I can go over a betrayal and continue living too".
When you have lots to do and you feel lazy, you think about his workaholicism and feel guilty (or inspired) and start to work too.
When you think you "can't do it, it's useless even trying", with a smile you think about his 1 year long Home Run project and how he never gave up, and you conclude that yes, after all you can try a bit more.
When you experiment hard times, you remember his words "God doesn't give trials that can't be overcame".
When you think you are weak and your weakness will be a minus for you, here it comes his multiple interviews or his Maquia corner where he admits his weaknesses, he knows them but they can become his strength, and it's useless fighting them. So you start working on your character another time more.
Before realizing, he's become your inspiration for many things and yes, you are proud of being his fan because he's like this. You close an eye on his excesses only because you know he's more human than many other famous people.
The Kamenashi Effect is what about him and his habits changed you and your lifestyle.
After all, the Kamenashi Effect isn't so bad. At least, this is my conclusion. And you?
-----------------------------
Credits for videos, pics and gifs: Many, too many. Basically: Tumblr,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
capslock_turtle , going_gonin , krysyuy , crovoxisikes redina simourva .
And thanks to all my friends that, in the past years of fangirling, showed me their love for KT and sharing with me their thoughts indirectly helped me writing down this list of things that this man, in the good and bad sides, definitely changed my life. And, why not, helped me to correct some wrong sides of my behaviour and... helped me get to know awesome people.
Because just an awesome man can call for awesome fans, right? :)
**NOTE: it's a post made for fun to make fun of Kametards written by a
I was partially inspired by
scorch66 's Kame love posts and simourva 's picspam, so go and read them :DFinally, after months of researches, notes and observation of KAT-TUN fans and Kamestans, I wrote my "essay" about the amazing, bewireling, shocking...
The Kamenashi Effect
(awesome since 1986)
(awesome since 1986)
Or, how KAT-TUN, especially Kame, can change your life without making you realize it
1- Shopping and Shopaholicism
This is the first symptom you generally notice. You begin to go shopping even if you were that kind of girl that barely buys new clothes every now and then, just because the old ones are too small. And even worse, now you enjoy going shopping.
You still may blame Kame for his shopaholicism and spending habits, but before you realize it, you become a shopaholic too.
The terminal status, you don't even feel guilty going and enjoying shopping or spending too much money on a skirt.
1.2- Expensive taste in shopping
If you have 3 t-shirts in front of you, the one that will catch your attention will 90% surely be the most expensive. You can't help it. Simply, you will.
2- Fashionista knowledge
You know so many stylist after checking what Kame was wearing in the last perf, PV or photoshoot that you could write a monthly column in the most fashionable magazine in the world. "Devil wears Prada" is nothing compared to you.
3- Weird taste in clothing
You become obsessed with accessories and, most of all, you end up buying weird clothes. You basically changed your wardrobe after you got to know Kame. Try to think about it. You probably have jackets with fur now, or damaged jeans, or lots of shoes/boots, so many that your mom starts wondering if you have more legs than normal human beings. I really hope you don't have feathery boas and sparkling trousers in your wardrobe, or jackets with lips, but I can't exlude it completely. Surely you have lots of Jeans - he's the best jeanist and even if you liked them before, now you almost wear only jeans.
The accessorize section may contain:
-sunglasses. Many.
-fedoras.
-Scarfs and foulards.
-Bracelets. Uncontable.
-Necklaces - you wear 3-4 of them at same time.
-Rings.
-Bags - the most similar to his you could find.
It may happen that you see/buy something because you think "Kame would approve this material/color".
3.2- Weird taste in clothing part 2
This point has a subpoint too. Maybe you don't buy it (because for example it's a man shirt and let's be honest, even if you like it, if you don't have a boyfriend or a dad as weird as you that accepts to wear something like this, you won't buy it)... but you think "oh, this woul suit Kame SO MUCH".
(this because I was talking about feathery boas and sparlking pants.
I don't think your bf would wear them.)
4- Appearance obsessed
You start paying attention to your make-up. Then, you notice every time one of them (it may be Kame, but not only him) wears make-up, eventually copying it (their make-up artists are always make-up artists, FTW!). Especially eyebrows are your new fixed point you never miss to check - because Kame's bitchy brows are bitchy, hella yeah.
Perfumes, facial patches, etc: everything is suddenly so important to you.
4.1 Shows are your mirrors around the city
Yes, I've seen people doing this as consequence of the parts already said.
5- Catwalk
Yes. Because Kame's catwalk is better than yours, and you KNOW it. But since you see his catwalk every day, rewatching his performances, CMs, dramas, you absorb his technique and you end up catwalking in your everyday life unconsciously.
At least Kame helps your woman pride, not just destroy it, once in a while.
6- Tongue habit
As before, you keep watching him playing with his lips/tongue/teeth/whatever, and unconsciously take that habit.
If you already had this habit (as I did), well, it will worsen. Very much. Trust me.
Your tongue takes control and when you are nervous you start playing unconsciously with it and your lips. As the master, more or less unconciously teaches.
7- Lamenashi is all around you
As if Junno wasn't enough, as if you needed someone who can say puns even lamer than Junno's, well, you have Lamenashi Kazuya for you. Because, quoting
simourva , "he's where even lame becomes lamer". The funny fact is that he can be lame and still look cute.Too bad that your lame puns won't make your friends crack up nor make them say "ZOMG you are so cute!1!!1!1!". They will facepalm and try not to look too much impolite with you (if they are kind enough. Otherwise, they will make fool of you for the rest of the day).
Basically, you become a weird hybrid between Lamenashi and Taguchi. Basically, A LameGuchi. Terrible.
And so to unite point 6&7, "Kame's lameness is like his tongue - always there and impossible to ignore. "
8- Turtles=Kame
Too much obvious, but this is the truth. Every time you see a turtle, someone talks about turtles, wears a t-shirt with a turtle, looks like a turtle, eats turtles, plays with turtles, your mind goes to him. Don't deny it, you know it's true.
8.1- Turtles are needed in your room
You have at least a turtle-shaped thinghy at home. And if you have not, you are thinking to buy it.
Kamearmy. Just because.
9- (His, not yours) undeniable charm captivates everyone
Everyone in your family knows Kame. They may don't know who KT are, but they KNOW there's this guy called Kame somewhere among them. They eventually may be able to recognize him. Especially your mom is his fan or prefers him among KT or at least can recognize him.
It may happen that even male figures around you (brothers or friends) are captivated by him, his skin or his flawless back, as someone in my f-list told me about his male friend XD
10- You can't count your fetishes anymore
Maybe at the beginning, before getting to know him, you only had a soft spot for neckties.
But then, after knowing him, shirts (yes shirts) appeared. Wet - or potentially wet - shirts, why not. Even office!shirts.
Then suits. More suits. Even MORE suits.
Then glasses - because he's hot and looks like Johnny Depp in QoP live with the perm. (well not exactly this pic, but if you watch the con, you get what I mean)
Why not, tanktops.
Not to think about body parts - ass, arms, back, tummy, neck, jugular, eyes, jaw, hair, legs, fingers... and all their fatty variations, of course. Because you didn't think that fatty!Kame could make you change your mind about fat being extremely hot and sexy, right?
Because Kame is your walking fetish.
10.1- Crook noses are sexy for you
(Glasses+nose, wasn't I smart choosing this pic? XD)
10.2- Your fetishes may be disturbing and weird
Of course, the FAMOUS Kame's nipples - or raisins - that everyone in JE fandom, even non-KT fans, knows.
Not to talk about the forest - You know who I'm referring to. XDDD Hairy Kame had a campaing already back in 2007.
11- Baseball is your favourite sport
Read here.
You almost didn't know about this sport until he began Going. Or maybe you didn't even care about sports at all.
Now you know all the rules, you can even discuss about which kind of pitch should be used against which kind of batter - because yes, you even know that there are different pitches.
You know almost all the Japanese baseball teams and you can even tell apart many players, say where they play and in which role. You ship TsuyoKame.
Not to say that you even know the result of the last Giant's match (thanks to Dramatic game).
12- You are interested in reptiles
Because, after the turtle, you discovered that boas (yes boas) may be interesting animals (together with condas. And bouncing ferrets, even if this isn't a reptile, but KT loves all animals and we also do).
You also are interested in how boas moves and is... grabbed?
13- You are interested in cooking
Maybe you can't even warm milk decently, but recently you feel the urge to learn how to cook.
---> (the pics are bigger)
13.2- Hadaka apron is one of the fetishes you secretly have
Don't deny it. Naked apron this way comes!
13.3- Wines don't have mysteries for you
Because you watched Kami no Shizuku and hell yes, you learned what a decantage is and you can distinguish 2 French wines even if you don't drink alcohol.
14- You somehow became cuter
Because, as points1-2-3-4-5 were absorbed unconsciously, cuteness may sometimes become unconscious too. Together with cute dorkiness. Sometimes he's just plain beautiful and shining.
15- Skulls are strangely fascinating nowadays
Yes, skulls.
16- You don't have a clear music preference anymore
After this Real Face and this ballad, you don't know anymore if you prefer rock or ballads. 99% of the cases, both of them.
16.2- Sappy songs aren't so bad at the end
Who didn't fall in love with him after reading "Aishiteiru kara" lyrics or simply watching his heartfelt perfs? (I cried like a baby after that SC perfs, but well)
17- You are an emoji freak
Because after reading his manuals, you started to use more emojis than words too. XD ^_^ ^o^ He's the king of emojis.
18- You are a hopeless perv
Or maybe you were a perv even before (especially because KAT-TUN fans, in primis Kamefans, seem to be genetically pervs). But obviously, being fan of a man that calls his dogs Ran & Jelly (=Ranjerii->Lingerie), that likes to slut himself on stage like it's a normal thing to do, that molests juniors, that hipsroll like a god, and has CMs where he's half naked, doesn't help. (<-- Don't be ashamed, I know you were hoping the shoot was lower *pats*)
19- You surpassed the "Yaoi" line. You ship Kame/everyone&everything
Because yes: he can be paired up with everyone, and yes, Kame/Kame exist and it's fucking hot. Kame/inanimate objects may be relevant to your interests too - especially poles, just sayin'.
20- Convulsive laughs are sexy (and you start laughing this way too)
No one can resist his laugh. or simply weird kameface.
21- You are clingy
Because he is passionate and teasing and clingy with lonely hands so yes, you are too. Or you became like this. It's the same, basically you are like this because it's the Kamenashi Effect and I'm explaining you it, to show you the Light.
22- You give yourself in everything you do
After 21+some underpoints stupid reasons, the last one is serious - and we all know that, after all, this is so much true. And putting aside the jokes, this is the most important point.
Sometimes you may be tired for your schedule, but then somewhere in your mind, even if you think it's stupid, there is a brain cell that's mumbling "Kame's schedule is way more hectic than yours, so don't give up now".
When you suffer for a friend's betrayal, you remember that 2006 period that he had to experiment and you think "He managed to continue working with people that hated him. I can go over a betrayal and continue living too".
When you have lots to do and you feel lazy, you think about his workaholicism and feel guilty (or inspired) and start to work too.
When you think you "can't do it, it's useless even trying", with a smile you think about his 1 year long Home Run project and how he never gave up, and you conclude that yes, after all you can try a bit more.
When you experiment hard times, you remember his words "God doesn't give trials that can't be overcame".
When you think you are weak and your weakness will be a minus for you, here it comes his multiple interviews or his Maquia corner where he admits his weaknesses, he knows them but they can become his strength, and it's useless fighting them. So you start working on your character another time more.
Before realizing, he's become your inspiration for many things and yes, you are proud of being his fan because he's like this. You close an eye on his excesses only because you know he's more human than many other famous people.
The Kamenashi Effect is what about him and his habits changed you and your lifestyle.
After all, the Kamenashi Effect isn't so bad. At least, this is my conclusion. And you?
-----------------------------
Credits for videos, pics and gifs: Many, too many. Basically: Tumblr,
capslock_turtle , going_gonin , krysyuy , crovoxisikes redina simourva .And thanks to all my friends that, in the past years of fangirling, showed me their love for KT and sharing with me their thoughts indirectly helped me writing down this list of things that this man, in the good and bad sides, definitely changed my life. And, why not, helped me to correct some wrong sides of my behaviour and... helped me get to know awesome people.
Because just an awesome man can call for awesome fans, right? :)
